I started running the "first time" when I was 24. Then I did it to justify my drinking. When I couldn't use it to justify it anymore then I used it to punish myself for my drinking. I could go out and run 6 miles when I woke up with the shakes and make it really hurt. That's what hatred of one's self can do! Then I got to the point where I wasn't able to run at all.
I fell in love with running when I got sober. It's my time with me, and my time with God. It's my time to appreciate the world around me and to think about how I can go about making it a better place. It has helped me stay competitive.
I make most of my "big ticket" decisions when I'm running. Running has helped me become a better dad, a better husband, and a better friend because it's the time when I really think through my actions and words towards others. I've apologized for something I've done or said many a time when I've come home from a run.
The Boston Marathon has been the reward from all of that. I look at Boston as my reward not just for training well, but for living well. I realize that without my sobriety it wouldn't be a possibility and I think back to what the past few years would have looked like had I not stopped drinking and wonder if I would even be here anymore.”
I wrote this on a running forum that I keep up with this morning. It was in response to the question “what gets you out of bed every morning to keep running?”
I truly believe that God gives each of us a passion for something in particular. I’m not necessarily talking about a passion for family, friends, or some worthy cause. I’m talking more about something that’s very personal. It’s something that brings out the best in us without us even realizing that that’s what it was supposed to do.
I never would have dreamed that running would have “changed my life” in the way that it has. Now, the truth is that running has not necessarily changed my life, it is the experiences that happen to me while running that have changed my life.
God has revealed Himself to me in such a remarkable way over the past few years during my runs. He seems to help me sort out the truth of His word and what it means for my life. If I had to guess I would say that over half of the songs that I write are in some way born out of my time on the road or the trails. Running takes me to a deeper place of thinking and wanting to respond to God’s goodness in my life.
Over the past few weeks I’ve been dealing with an injury to my foot. It not only put me out of running for 5 weeks, but came at such a crucial time of training that I had to withdraw from this year’s Boston marathon. This seriously was a devastating blow to me. Not only was my passion taken away, but also the reward for all of the hard work!
I’m still wrestling through some of the realizations that this injury has brought out. On one hand it has helped me realize that it can be very easy to put too much focus on one particular thing. When running becomes a “small god” in my life it surely can jeopardize the way that I worship my “Big God.”
It has also helped me realize that everything is going to be okay! It’s not the end of the world to be out a few weeks and have something taken away from me. Yes, it really stinks that I don’t have the opportunity to go to Boston this year. It was going to be my vacation with my wife and a chance to spend some wonderful time with her. It would have been an opportunity to meet some people that I’ve become very good friends with through a Boston Marathon running forum. It would have been the culmination of a good year of training as well as a good year of living well.
So what is the lesson learned? For me it is this; we all need that one thing that makes us better. God knows that left to my own devices I would spend little time with Him. He knows that I’m wired in a way that I don’t like to sit around and do nothing. He knows that when I wake up in the morning I have trouble focusing on Scripture. He knows that I’m not really giving Him my best when I take the token ten minutes to pray and read and then say that I’ve had my time with God for the day.
He has given me the gift of running because He knows that it helps me follow Him with a greater appreciation of who He is and what He wants to be in my life. He wants me to be a better husband, father and friend and so He speaks to me about how to do that when I am alone in my thoughts and away from all of the things that can take my attention away from Him.
He may someday take running away from me completely. I know that if He does though it is because He has a different way planned for me to seek Him and a different way in which He wants to speak to me.
What is the gift that He has given you? What’s your time with Him look like? What’s the best part of your day and the best part of your life that you can give to Him?