If there was ever an email or letter that I have received that truly helped me understand why God allowed me to go through the junk that I did, it's the one below. This right here makes everything I do worthwhile. It spurs me on, it challenges me to continue fighting the fight, living my faith and reaching out to people in recovery. It helps me stay sober.
Good afternoon Greg,
You visited my church this past Tuesday to be a guest speaker at CR, and you couldnt have come at a better time. My name is C. and Im 26 years old with 2 beautiful little boys. Since I was 17 I have struggled with a drug and alcohol addiction. Back in August of last year, from missing so much work, I was given a phenomenal opportunity from my work to attend a 30 day intensive rehab center. I finally entered one in October and I would love to say I have been clean/sober since then...but I would be lieing. I actually received a 90 day chip in January and then ended up relapsing pretty hardcore, missing work from drinking alcohol and snorting cocaine, for about a week. My work once again gave me another chance and I hooked up with my sponsor A. I once again did quite well until a series of unfortunate events happened, and as always, I went out this past weekend and drank both Friday and Saturday night to try and cope with my hurt. I have attended CR faithfully since I entered rehab this past October despite my relapsing....but this past Tuesday I had almost summed up as my last. See after this past relapse I was filled with so much guilt and so much hurt....Prior to the relapse I was so on fire for God. He was moving in me in ways I could never have imagined. He revealed himself to me and I was so close to Him. Then once I relapsed I felt like I had betrayed him and failed as his child. I was debating on whether or not to attend CR that night but my sponsor informed me that we were having a guest speaker so I thought I would. Praise God I did!! Listening to your story and hearing your music did something to me. I could relate to almost everything you spoke about in so many ways, from the little things of being frustrated when you couldnt play your piano to help release stress, or to the big issues of hiding your alcoholism and hating yourself bc you pretend like you have everything together when really you dont. I myself am a singer and a songwriter, and Im usually pretty critical of others and theyre music. I must admit when I saw you were leading praise n worship as a solo act I thought "oh my God who is this clown?" But once you started singing something happened. I could feel the Spirits presence just come over me, and in praise n worship I began to cry. Then when you started singing Im Lost, well thats exactly how I feel right now, and once again I couldnt keep the tears from falling down my face. The truth is I am at a crossroad right now, and before listening to your story I was confused as to which way to turn. I know if I continue to party that I will loose everything, my job, my children, even more of my self respect....before you came I just didnt care. But listening to you, and how you lost everything, and how by the Grace of God you were radically changed....I dont want to loose everything. I want to press forward and continue on fighting the good fight. Since hearing your testimony something has happened. Its almost like every where I turn I read scripture that jumps right out at me and helps me with what Im feeling at that very moment. Or a Christian song will be played that answers the questions that Im asking. Its amazing. And although there is in no way that I deserve Gods amazing grace that he is bestowing upon me, He still chooses to do so.....and its heart changing. I have visited your website a few times since Tuesday and I have told many about you and your ministry. You have an amazing talent and if you ever doubt if anyone in this world is changed by your testimony, know that one has, and it is me. I must thank you for never giving up and following Gods plan for your life. God has used you to speak to me and help get me back on track. I still have alot of work to do....but thank you.....thanks from my sponsor, thanks from my children, and thank you from me. May God continue to work in you and continue to allow your ministry to witness to others out there who are lost and hurting in this world.
I heard a great statement this past week from a friend of mine named Kyle Burkholder that went like this "If it doesn't stir your affections for Christ then I would argue you shouldn't be doing it" Sharing my testimony, my music and leading worship stir my affections for Christ more than anything. Running is a way that God speaks to me and gives me my songs, my ideas and direction for my ministry. I'm so, so grateful that they all flow together and that God has given me something to be so passionate about.